?

Log in

 
 
27 June 2006 @ 01:18 am
Crashing Down- Logan/Veronica  
Title: Crashing Down
Author: brin_bailey
Characters/Pairings: Logan/Veronica (mentions of Lilly and Duncan)
Rating: PG
Length: 1,684 words.
Spoilers/Warnings: General S1 and S2 stuff.
Summary:  Future fic in which Veronica sets out to find Logan, written for vmtruechallenge "Where in the World is Veronica Mars" (The country I chose was Costa Rica.) Cross-posted at veronicamarsfic
Notes:  This story veered so far off from where I originally planned, but I'm fairly happy with the results. It's only my second VM fic, so I'd love you forever in exchange for any constructive criticism. 



Crashing Down

 

She figured it would’ve taken longer to find him. That he wouldn’t be sitting, long legs stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankle, staring at the rolling waves.

 

But there he was.

 

His eyes closed briefly and his head slipped forward, his chin dipping down to his chest. He took a deep breath, the air filling his lungs to the point where he thought they just might explode, and exhaled as if he was letting go of everything. Everything bad and good, and everything that was in between and rendered indefinable, just everything.

 

With a flicker, his eyes opened to find her walking towards him, her feet shuffling softly through the sand. She raised her hand slowly, probably to wave, but then hesitantly lowered it and let it limply fall to her side. Instead she smiled, with only one side of her thin lips turning up.

 

“Veronica Mars,” Logan breathed.

 

“Hey,” she offered with a sort of nod.

 

He gestured for her to sit down beside him and she tilted her head from side to side as if his request required more thought than it was worth. But she lowered herself onto the sandy beach, wiped her palms on the front of her pants and tucked her legs in close to her body.

 

She smiled again, still with just the one side, like it would be too painful to use her whole mouth, and pushed back the wisps of blonde hair that the light wind had blew into her face. Her hair was shorter than he ever remembered, but maybe he just didn’t remember things too clearly. After all, he had done more than his fair share of things to make himself forget. 

 

They sat in silence, which he didn’t think they’d ever done, and was beginning to realize why.

 

“So,” he began the light lilt in his voice new, even to him. “You found me, huh?”

 

“Wasn’t that hard,” Veronica admitted.

 

There was something different about her. It wasn’t just that she was older, because he was too, and knew that growing up didn’t change you as much as everyone claimed it did. But there was something almost unreachable about her, standoffish and hardened. He wondered when the exact change had taken place and if she would still be the same if he’d stuck around. Maybe it had nothing to do with him at all.

 

“How’d you do it?” he questioned. “Lean on the right people? Something with spec-ops? Was there microfilm involved?”

 

“No.”

 

“Oh,” he said, resigned disappointment pushing through.

 

“I have different resources now,” she told him with a shrug.

 

“Out of the spy-game?”

 

She didn’t answer, just reached into her pocket and pulled out a thin, leather case, tossing it in the sand beside him. He picked it up wordlessly and flipped it open, revealing the glint of a badge. Logan ran his thumb over her embossed name.

 

“Sheriff Mars reigns again,” he grinned.

 

“Try again.”

 

Held on the other side of the case was a small card, with a picture of an unsmiling Veronica and the words FBI written beside it.

 

“Wow, you went federal. Playing with the big boys now, Ronnie?”

 

“Something like that,” she agreed.

 

Logan handed her back the badge, the tips of his rough fingers brushing over the underside of her wrist. She didn’t flinch at his touch, only dropped the case into the pocket of her jacket and focused her eyes forward on the ocean that he’d been so intently looking at before.

 

“Why here?” Veronica asked, her gaze still held on the water.

 

“Why Costa Rica?”

 

She nodded. Veronica knew he was watching her. Knew that he was mentally taking notes of every hitch in her breath, infliction in her voice, the way she held her head, how she moved her hands. And she knew because she wanted to do the same thing, study him and memorize every detail.

 

“No real reason I guess,” he said. “Nobody knows me here, kind of easy to disappear.”

 

Veronica turned to look at him and figured that nobody back home would know him either. The pretty boy son of the world’s most famous actor-turned-murderer, had long since gone, replaced by someone who was capable of being soft and hard at the same time. Logan had become a walking contradiction with a child-like, carefree grin and cool, lifeless eyes.  

 

“It’s nice here,” Logan continued, not oblivious to Veronica’s probing stare. He waited a beat before adding, “I speak enough Spanish to get by and the surfing’s pretty good, kind of like home.”

 

“Do you ever think about going back?”

 

“Isn’t that why you’re here?” he asked. “To take me back?”

 

“I’m not going to force you to do anything Logan,” she shook her head. “You wanted to leave and you left.”

 

“Then why are you here Veronica?”

 

She started to speak, but the only thing that left her mouth was a sigh. Logan nodded, as if her not saying anything spoke volumes.

 

She tried again, “I don’t know why I’m here.”

 

“Well, you must have some reason,” he said. “Or else I’m figuring you wouldn’t have tried looking in the first place.”

 

“Maybe I miss you,” she shrugged, but her shoulders were so small and slumped she might as well not have.

 

They fell into silence again and it was really starting to make Logan feel uncomfortable. He wasn’t sure he liked who they’d become and who they couldn’t be together. Of course if he had a choice, he wasn’t sure which version of themselves he’d pick anyway. He barely remembered who they were before Lilly had died and he knew that her death had shaped them all into sharp angles that just didn’t fit anymore. It was like they were a broken jig-saw puzzle, with missing pieces and notches that didn’t match.

 

“They found Duncan,” Veronica said softly, turning her head to avoid seeing his reaction.

 

“Yeah,” his voice took on the same soft tone as hers. “I know, saw it on the news.”

 

“I guess I figured that it was just us now,” she told him. “And you weren’t even there.”

 

“What happened to the kid?”

 

“The Mannings have custody of her right now, but Jake and Celeste are fighting it.”

 

“They won’t win.”

 

“I know,” Veronica admitted with a sort of sad nod.

 

“So, you came because of Duncan?” Logan asked.

 

“No.”

 

And while they were miles from where they had started, Logan was fairly certain that they were back at the beginning. Sitting on a beach, talking about everything and nothing. Duncan was still between them and he probably always would be. It was different, but exactly the same.   

 

“It is just us now, isn’t it?” Logan murmured.

 

“Yeah,” she responded.

 

It was strange because things had never really been like they were before Lilly had died. And it always seemed as if they were struggling alone, just to make it through life, or not at all. It had never been just the two of them, never just him or her and Duncan, not since Lilly.

 

“I don’t think I can go back Veronica,” he shook his head. “Not to where we used to be. Not to Neptune.”

 

“I’m not going to twist your arm,” she said indifferently, not bothering to argue. “Just thought I’d give you the option.”

 

Veronica hadn’t enjoyed fighting with Logan in years. The game got old and tired, she got sick of it and so did he. He left shortly after the last time they fought. He vaguely remembered smashing a vase to the floor and her simply walking away, without so much as a frown on her face, whispering that it was his mess now and not hers.

 

He had to admit that he thought she might come for him sooner, but like some overused cliché, the days turned into months, and then years, and then he began to forget that he ever loved Veronica Mars. Or that he fell in love with Lilly Kane before her.

 

The still quiet air surrounded them and Veronica glanced over at Logan’s contemplative face, his brows drawn together and his lips pressed in a firm line. And as different as the situation might have been, how different he was now, Veronica knew that he wasn’t coming with her.

 

There was something here that let him forget who he used to be and all the pain that had been so present in their lives. And although she’d be the first one to tell him that forgetting was probably the last thing that he needed, she understood why he’d want to. Hell, she wanted to, too.

 

“I guess that’s it then,” she said, the indifferent air she held just minutes before, faltering.

 

Veronica stood, brushing the sand from her pants, and gave him a tight grin. When he wanted to remember, when even forgetting became too hard, he’d come back. At least, she thought, that he might. He didn’t stand with her, just returned her grin and let his eyes wander to the ocean again.

 

As she began to walk a way, what had become a familiar sight to Logan over the years, his hand lightly grabbed for hers. She stopped suddenly, her feet stuck in the sand, but she didn’t turn around, just slipped her own hand a little further into his. It still fit, which surprised them both, because if they’d changed half as much as they thought they did, somehow, by some rationale, it shouldn’t have fit at all.

 

Logan let his fingers gently curl over Veronica’s, his thumb passing over the back of her hand like it used to before. Then he loosened his grip, his fingers trying to slip from hers, but she held firm for a moment more. Just one small squeeze before she let go.

 

“Yeah, that’s it,” he agreed.

 

And she figured it shouldn’t have been that easy to leave him. Sitting on the beach, his long legs still crossed at the ankle, his eyes still focused on the waves that crashed evenly on the shore.

 

But it was.

 

 

 

 
 
 
silver_fic: Wallacesilver_fic on June 27th, 2006 02:46 pm (UTC)
That was great :)
Brinnybrin_bailey on June 27th, 2006 08:58 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
Ella-ella-eh-eh-eh: spinpopaddict on June 27th, 2006 05:25 pm (UTC)
I was realy pleased with the ending and that he didn't go with her.

It's not like she really tried anyway and even if she did sometimes its just not enough.
Brinnybrin_bailey on June 27th, 2006 09:01 pm (UTC)
I never set out for him not to come back with her, but I thought it worked better in the end if he didn't.

Thanks for the comment!
Mallory: jealousyruniechica on June 27th, 2006 05:40 pm (UTC)
That was wonderful but so sad! You really know how to break my hurt, you know that? :p Great job though.
Brinnybrin_bailey on June 27th, 2006 09:02 pm (UTC)
Thanks, glad you like it! I'm thinking about getting into the heartbreaking business :P
Malloryruniechica on June 27th, 2006 09:24 pm (UTC)
lol is there a lot of money in that racket?
Brinnybrin_bailey on June 28th, 2006 02:17 am (UTC)
'Eh...probably not. But I bet I'd meet a heckuva lot of interesting people :)
jcalla on June 27th, 2006 06:05 pm (UTC)
That was heartbreaking, but not at the same time. Weird, I know. I always want Veronica and Logan together, but this worked so well, and simplified all their problems. I loved it.
Brinnybrin_bailey on June 27th, 2006 09:03 pm (UTC)
Aww, thank you!
WeHo M.: VM - Epicafrocurl on June 27th, 2006 06:15 pm (UTC)
Somehow the angst works for this story. It's always interesting to imagine what would happen if things between them really did fall apart and couldn't go back to the way they were.
Brinnybrin_bailey on June 27th, 2006 09:06 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I really think the day will come on Veronica Mars where Logan and Veronica are really just beyond the point of ever being able to make it work and can't go back.

As for the angst this started out as a completely differenty semi-fluffy funny attempt, but it turns out I can only be witty when I don't have to.

Anyway, thanks for the comment :)
Mariannainsunshine on June 27th, 2006 07:40 pm (UTC)
This was so sad! I thought stylistically, it was great to have him not go with her, but as a fan, it broke my heart.
Brinnybrin_bailey on June 27th, 2006 09:07 pm (UTC)
Aww, thanks! Somehow style won out over my fangirlishness, not sure how, but somehow it did :)
Sal: LoVe Swaysal101010 on June 27th, 2006 08:36 pm (UTC)
Ooh, I enjoyed that!
Brinnybrin_bailey on June 27th, 2006 09:07 pm (UTC)
Yay, glad that you did! Thanks!
Shane: veronica taking pics at beachhavemy_heart on June 28th, 2006 01:02 am (UTC)
Well, this was depressing.
Brinnybrin_bailey on June 28th, 2006 02:18 am (UTC)
Umm...thanks? :)
daretorunlogan_love on June 28th, 2006 04:11 am (UTC)
That was heartbreaking, and sad because I am a major LoVe fangirl, but it was an excellent story. It was an awesome piece of angst, and an interesting take on what would happen when everything was just *too* much and they realized that their were too many wounds to heal. Let's all say a silent prayer that such a thing would NEVER happen on Veronica Mars, or I think I will either have to punch Rob Thomas, or punch myself. LOL.
Brinnybrin_bailey on June 29th, 2006 04:04 am (UTC)
Thank you!

I don't know, I'm such a fangirl, but it wouldn't surprise me if years down the line (let's also say a silent prayer the show lasts that long) if Logan and Veronica just couldn't make it work. But, again, in fangirl style, I hope it doesn't happen ;)
Brandy: VM.LV.Trouble.S1brandyleigh on June 28th, 2006 05:12 am (UTC)
I liked this. Sad, but not altogether unrealistic or overly angsty. I hated that he didn't go with her, but it made perfect sense for him not to, and yet the ending felt like even if they were over, there was always a tiny chance that he might come back someday. I also love that Duncan was back, and yet she still came after Logan anyways.

I'm off to read your other VM fic now.
Brinnybrin_bailey on June 29th, 2006 04:05 am (UTC)
Thanks, glad you liked it :)

Hope you enjoy the other one as well, which is almost opposite end of the spectrum from this one!

Salamanda: Love Shy [egyptian_pixie]tastylilgifty on June 30th, 2006 08:51 am (UTC)
That was totally beautiful. Made me cry. And, you gave ,me a bit of inspiration to finish writing the epilogue to the story I'm stuck on now.

Actually, I'd love some feedback on it from you. You think you might wat to give it a read? It's future as well, a bit different from yours. ;)
Brinnybrin_bailey on July 7th, 2006 03:27 am (UTC)
Aww, thank you. That's awesome that it gave you inspiration and I'd love to give it a read! Is it on your LJ?
Salamanda: My Ninja Boys [smidgy06]tastylilgifty on July 8th, 2006 08:40 am (UTC)
Oh, yay! It's actually all in my memories. You need a link, or are you okay? They're all kind of frighteningly meticulously organized. ;)
moustrich on July 1st, 2006 02:08 pm (UTC)
That was heartbreaking. I wish they had gotten back together but at the same time I understand why they didn’t and I liked that a bit.
Brinnybrin_bailey on July 7th, 2006 03:28 am (UTC)
Thanks so much for the review! As I said, I'm totally going to get in the heartbreaking business ;)